When do I get angry. When does it come to be time that I get mad and start yelling. Should I start yelling. Can I be a masterful coach without yelling. It seems like Coach Hauxwell avoids it, and I never saw Gary yell. He always said that your passion and excitement would tell the kids when to stop pushing you. Fuck. How can I become a great teacher, a great drama coach, and a great basketball coach. Am I being overly sensitive? It seems like at drama practice all they did was screw around, and it seems like I'm the one doing all the work again. I'm not willing to do this again. I'm going to make them do the work, and I guess I have to be willing to let it fail. But I'm not willing to do that. And what if I become the head basketball coach, will I let them screw around? Will I find it in me to push them, and how do I do that. I'm so worried about the future. I don't know what to do.

I guess I forgot to say that Coach Fye resigned on Tuesday. I believe I am up for the head coaching position. I would love to have it. I think I've earned it, and I think I can do it. Also, and I hate to say it, but if they go around my back and get someone else, then I might be an assistant coach, but I won't be back for a fourth year. And the only thing I'd do as the assistant is learn the game better for another year. I feel that would be a huge kick in the pants and a huge act of disloyalty. I've told the boss man that I am interested in the job, and I know I can give this team more and make them better. My only concern is if the kids will respond to me, and the way I see it they will because I am smart enough and I deserve it and they have worked with me for two years already. And, the way I see it, forget them if they decide to screw off and let it go. We can make something great, or they can piss it down their legs and its up to them. Either respond to me and face the fact that I am smart enough and good enough to lead them, or screw them and get the hell out of this place. You're doing a great job and the kids see that. You are being overly sensitive. The kids did everything you asked of them, you need to keep them going. You are going to be an awesome coach, and and an even better teacher. Have fun.

Later.