Didn't get the job I wanted. Left the student teaching gig. Got an interview on Tuesday. Not much else, been constantly filling out job applications. Like three or four a day of these twenty pages things that all ask the same questions. Getting frustrated with the whole thing. Hung out with some friends, fell into old habits, got screwed over that. Whatever, not necessarily a happy camper right now. How can you give me a ration of shit about how you are two taken girls and cant possibly think about another guy, then in the same breath tell me you are hanging out with these two other guys? That she is married and has a full plate, but she is totally willing to go screw the brains out of some loser, but it's just sex. Totally willing to go play strip poker with these "old guys," totally willing to make these other guys pay for your drinks, but I'm wickedly funny and smart and a genuinely good guy. Why do I do this to myself? I'm such a fucking moron. Where are all the good woman at, why do I have to get stuck with these tramps? Worst of all, why do I have to like these tramps? I always hoped that good guys wouldn't finish last, but any more it looks like that old mantra is getting truer and truer. I'm such a nice guy, I get to go home by myself and be alone. I'm so funny, I give you a joke to tell the next guy you meet. I'm so smart, I get to sit at home and wish that I had done everything differently. What am I doing wrong? Why do I always end up associating with these losers? I swear I gravitate towards weakness. I'm just trying to be a good guy. A good friend, a good man, and I get to sit at home alone and lonely. Explain that one to me old mighty Internet Man.

I cant be a jerk. I cant be the asshole. It's not in mean to treat people like that. I dont mean to be whiny and annoying, I'm just trying to catch a break and find someone who will feel about me the same why I'll feel about them. Is it my curse to see the goodness in everyone and to love them for their goodness? I'd give anything for a different path, what am I supposed to do? Whatever, just another set of "friends" that will soon be a part of my past. I'll never see them again and wont ever have to deal with their particular bullshit. I just need to find another set of people who's bullshit I can be a part of, whatever. I've done it before, I've done it before. History repeats itself, and I'm doomed to be the dumbass that decides to be a "nice guy" and finishes last.

Wish me luck with the interview.
Wish me luck with people.
Later all.
Compete.

No chance being hired where I am. Made some calls and got some interest with a little school district way south and way east, but I'd take just about anything. I talked to him on Wednesday, screwed everything up, then have harassed the front office since then. I called him, he called me back and told me to call him between 1 and 4. Well, I had class, got to grading, and had to help distribute Yearbooks, of course. I couldn't call back before 3:30. Last minute, and he wasn't there. That was disappointing. Since then, I left two messages on Thursday, another message today (Friday), and hung up on voicemail another 4 times. The next step will be driving down there. That may happen here in the next couple of weeks, not looking forward to that. It would be different if we had an appointment and I knew he would be there and we could talk, but to just show up I don't know. Especially since it's a three hour drive, and I don't even know if I have a shot at the job. Maybe Tuesday, that looks like the best day. Thursday is the seniors last day, I have to be there for that. Wednesday wouldn't be bad, but that would make it one long ass day (Nuggets baby). Monday have to go in to help with some grading stuff. Of course, now is when everything comes to a head, figures. I'm hoping to call some more on Monday, and see where that gets me. My parents just keep reminding me to keep my hopes up. They say we're going to pull out of this economy real soon, and that I haven't even been out of work for a year, so I cant be disheartened just yet. I just wish I could get somebody to talk to me. Soon enough I guess. You just have to ride the tide of time and see where things go.

We've been writing creatively in the AP classes, so in the next few weeks I'll be posting some of my own creative writing, just to prepare all my many fans.

Good luck with all of your endeavors.
Later all.

It's over.

16 weeks of unpaid labor, 8 observations, 6 seminars, 3 senior classes, 2 junior classes, 210 essays, countless hours of lost sleep and worry. I'm officially done with student teaching. My last day was the first. I got through my final meeting, got a "B" in the "class" and am observing teachers. I dont like the "B," I dont entierly get it. I worked hard, never missed a day, busted my hump, improved, figured out my strengths and weaknesses, I dont see how it could have been a better semester. Whatever, it's just a pain in the ass. The grade doesn't matter, it's all about how much you learn, and I learned more about myself in the past 16 weeks then I ever cared to know. I can do better. I will do so much different my first time in a classroom. If everything isn't immedietly scraped, then it'll go through a complete makeover. I'm thinking about my teams and my coaching, I got along great with those kids. I established myself as a leader and a friend and we had a great time playing. I need to bring more of that into my classroom. I have some ideas . . .

I dont, however, have a job. That sucks, but I'll do what I have to I guess.

In other, fantastic, news my dad got Nuggets' Playoff Tickets. Game 5 baby. It is so freaking awesome. We followed the team all year, he for the past twenty years, me for as long as I can remember. The last game I really remember going to the Nuggets played the Lakers and lost to Shaq. So it's been forever since we got to go to a game. This is going to be awesome. Colorado just seems full of fair weather fans, better than the asshole fans of Boston and New York, but it'd be nice if this state had any loyalty to any team other than the Broncos.

I'm, of course, a Steeler fan. The Broncos anger me at every corner. Drafting No-Show, whatever. We fire one offensive guy to hire another offensive guy. Whatever. I hated Shanahan from day one, the only thing he could kind of do competently was the offense. He knew how to build an O-line. We can put any idiot back there and they'd run for a thousand yards. This guy better run for two. We needed Defence, specifically Primary, a big ol' middle linebacker. Nope, a safety. Fighting the side effects of piss poor QB pressure instead of actually pressuring the QB.

GO STEELERS!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to stay in school. Observe as many different teachers as I can. Hopefully, that'll show the powers that be that I'm dedicated and care and they will give me a shot if the opportunity arises.

Still hoping (and looking obviously) for a job.
Need to complain to CSU.
Need to enjoy my last weeks as a student.

Later all.