Didn't get the job I wanted. Left the student teaching gig. Got an interview on Tuesday. Not much else, been constantly filling out job applications. Like three or four a day of these twenty pages things that all ask the same questions. Getting frustrated with the whole thing. Hung out with some friends, fell into old habits, got screwed over that. Whatever, not necessarily a happy camper right now. How can you give me a ration of shit about how you are two taken girls and cant possibly think about another guy, then in the same breath tell me you are hanging out with these two other guys? That she is married and has a full plate, but she is totally willing to go screw the brains out of some loser, but it's just sex. Totally willing to go play strip poker with these "old guys," totally willing to make these other guys pay for your drinks, but I'm wickedly funny and smart and a genuinely good guy. Why do I do this to myself? I'm such a fucking moron. Where are all the good woman at, why do I have to get stuck with these tramps? Worst of all, why do I have to like these tramps? I always hoped that good guys wouldn't finish last, but any more it looks like that old mantra is getting truer and truer. I'm such a nice guy, I get to go home by myself and be alone. I'm so funny, I give you a joke to tell the next guy you meet. I'm so smart, I get to sit at home and wish that I had done everything differently. What am I doing wrong? Why do I always end up associating with these losers? I swear I gravitate towards weakness. I'm just trying to be a good guy. A good friend, a good man, and I get to sit at home alone and lonely. Explain that one to me old mighty Internet Man.

I cant be a jerk. I cant be the asshole. It's not in mean to treat people like that. I dont mean to be whiny and annoying, I'm just trying to catch a break and find someone who will feel about me the same why I'll feel about them. Is it my curse to see the goodness in everyone and to love them for their goodness? I'd give anything for a different path, what am I supposed to do? Whatever, just another set of "friends" that will soon be a part of my past. I'll never see them again and wont ever have to deal with their particular bullshit. I just need to find another set of people who's bullshit I can be a part of, whatever. I've done it before, I've done it before. History repeats itself, and I'm doomed to be the dumbass that decides to be a "nice guy" and finishes last.

Wish me luck with the interview.
Wish me luck with people.
Later all.
Compete.