Almost play time and almost the end of my second year as a teacher. There have been two things bothering me lately. The first bugged me all weekend. The realization that I'm not as strong, quick, or athletic as I was in high school. I don't think it's my age catching up to me, but the fact that I have little opportunity for practice and staying with it. I'm lucky to get 5 thousand steps a day and I rarely get the chance to play games. I'm tired to the bone, my body is actually drained and I feel like I could curl up and sleep for a million years. I want to lay down and not get up for a week. I have nightmares about this play and lose sleep over it. So, I think I have a reason to play poorly or to feel weak. The other thing, it came up today, is that I might lose a lot of my older kids for the play next year. My lead actress said she was going to take music instead of drama, and the sophomore who did it for the first time said the same thing. I'm already going to lose my leading senior who will win Actor of The Year for the second year in a row (the kids voted) and I'm not sure I could stand to lose my best actress and the people who have the experience. I don't think I can make them be in the play, but it wouldn't help my sanity for all of my older kids to leave and me to be stuck with people who have never been a part of the process and kids who will fight with me (she will go nameless for now). I'm just worried about everything, I want this year to end and I want to not have to worry for a few months. Things have just been bad. People are losing their jobs, people are leaving for China, and there is drama everywhere. Doesn't help that I'm still coming home to a lonely apartment pissing money away rent and taxes freaking kicked my ass. I'm worried about money, I can't seem to find a book to keep my attention, I'm lonely as hell, I'm worried about the play, the basketball team, next year, I just want my brain to shut down. On top of everything else, parent teacher conferences tomorrow, and Carnival is on Saturday.

Positives:
1. We got our t-shirts ordered.
2. The rehearsal went really well.
3. Tomorrow should be an easy day.
4. We get to go home next weekend.
5. Only 4 weeks for seniors, 5 for everyone else.

Everything is going to be great. Lets finish this year. You know as well as I do that the pay off for the play comes when we perform once they get that taste they will want it again. Everything is going to be great.

Later.